Rector Writes | Many Trusted Adults

In the summer of 2024, the entire Chatham Hall community of teachers, administrators, and coaches read One Trusted Adult by Brooklyn Raney. I love reading and tore through this book in a few short days. It is packed with practical observations and advice for anyone closely connected to a child, adolescent, or young adult. The book is part of a larger organization of the same name, whose philosophy is to ensure that every young person can identify and access a truly trusted adult and to strive to provide training and motivation for any adult thus identified. If you have not yet explored the principles of the One Trusted Adult philosophy, I urge you to discover more. You won’t regret it and likely won’t look at jelly beans or Brussels sprouts the same way again… trust me!

As a lifelong educator with thirty years of school experience behind me, a primary tenet of my own educational philosophy has been connection. I have played many roles in schools and have taught almost every age range (besides Early Childhood). Regardless of the school’s mission, culture, type, size, or location, I have always found that connection with students is at the root of their growth, success, confidence, and progression. While I’ve certainly encountered many introverted, shy, quiet, reticent, or recalcitrant students, at their core, they are identical to all the extroverted, outgoing, loquacious, precocious, and enthusiastic students from my career. No matter how they present themselves, and regardless of their passions and challenges, every single student wants to be seen, known, and valued. Each, in their own highly individual way, seeks the company, trust, support, and guidance of a trusted adult. 

In my own all-girls private school in London, and within the context of the decade of the 1980s, our trusted adults took on a one-dimensional form. While our teachers were dedicated and talented practitioners, their remit was to propel the students in their care to the highest level of academic excellence. In this endeavor, they excelled. We were pushed, driven, tested, and coached to the top of our academic dreams - in my case, being valedictorian of my college (a long-held ambition) and gaining a coveted master's spot at Cambridge University. I am grateful for the work ethic and sense of academic ambition that these teachers instilled in me. However, on even light analysis, I can honestly say none of my teachers were A Trusted Adult, by the definition I believe. 

One of my main draws to the world of education was the opportunity to live closely in community and to connect. I loved teaching science and math, and I loved (and still love) everything about the fabric of school life. But my connection to students and the chance to exist in their world as a trusted helper and mentor continue to inspire me anew. On my first visit to Chatham Hall, I was immediately struck by the emotional intelligence of the girls and their clear sense of connection to each other and their teachers, coaches, and dorm advisors. There was a palpable sense of being known and knowing others. I noticed and was impressed by the depth of relationships I saw. While I’ve encountered authentic connections in other schools, it was significantly different at Chatham Hall, and it was clearly evident as soon as I got to campus.

After several months living in the Chatham Hall community, and after discussing One Trusted Adult with our employees in book groups at the end of the summer, it has struck me that, while we are wholeheartedly committed to ensuring that every student has a well-trained and well-motivated “go to” person, we are not satisfied with each student only having ONE trusted adult. At Chatham Hall, our intent, practice, and commitment are to ensure that every student has multiple adults to whom they can turn for support, guidance, and advice. While not every student will gravitate to every adult, and personalities do not always mesh perfectly, we pledge to hold every student in a network of trusted adults so they are always aware that they are never alone. 

Authentic and deep relationships with appropriate boundaries are a critical part of boarding life. Our adults are frequently and extensively trained to know when and how to push back, forward, or sideways with a student. They commit to a full life in community with each of our girls and embrace the journey for its entirety, understanding that the adolescent path will inevitably be bumpy and that trusted adults may be needed more than ever - even if they will more likely, and typically, be rejected. When a student has many trusted adults, her rhythms, moods, habits, tone, and demeanor become instantly readable and recognizable. At Chatham Hall, it is common for teachers to say something like, “Sara didn’t look right in the chapel today. Do you know what’s going on?” Or they may approach a student and say, “You don’t seem like yourself today. How are you doing?” We know our girls from the heart outward. To us, one trusted adult is not enough. Our adolescent girls need and deserve as many trusted adults as possible. Here at Chatham Hall, we pledge to ensure that they live in a community full of trusted, committed, and engaged adults who will continue to hold them in care and support long after they receive their diplomas and leave campus.